Saturday, March 13, 2010

haircut from hell...

I have been looking for a hair stylist for about, oh...30 years. I had a good one back in the day, but she decided to become a dental hygienist...then I got another one, and she went back to school to be a teacher...3rd one went to nursing school...and so on and so on. They all seem to want to be something other than a stylist. Not that I could blame them...I would hate that job. People coming in wanting to look like the newest pop star(Lady GaGa must have them hiding under their chairs)or celebrity. People expecting the stylist to correct home perms, cheap color and do it yourself haircuts(remember the flo-bee). So the idea of cutting hair day after day must be hard. Ok, I get the whole 'the job would be great if it wasn't for all these nasty customers' vibe...I get it. But someone needs to sit me down like a 3 year old and explain the whole hairstylist to English delema.

I had my hair cut yesterday...I told the 12 year old anorexic bleached blond that I only wanted a trim...leave the back and sides, only trim the top...keep it the same shape. So why did I walk out looking like the ass end of a Pekingese??? How does 'cut 1/4 of and inch' turn into 'please shave my head and make me look like I have scabies'. Why, when I take pictures in to give the stylist an idea I end up looking like I just got out of prison??? And why oh why do I think they next one will finally 'get it'??? It isn't gonna happen...somewhere there is a disconnect and I am clueless as to why.

I once went in and said I wanted a hair cut like either Liza Minnelli or Sharon Osborn (all cool and sticky-uppy) after cutting for a while I was spun around and shown my new disaster...'that doesn't look like either of those people' I said as I tried to run my hands through what remained of my hair...'I don't know who either of those people are' she said. And we wont talk about the time the stylist got into a fight with her husband while cutting my hair, he came in all drunk...*shudder*...bad day, very bad day...or the time the lady forgot me while processing a perm...

Yesterday the girl said 'oh, my mom's friend has a haircut like this, she loves it, shes an older lady too....(WTF???)

My favorite author, Terry Pratchett had a character in a story that had the same problem. He would take pictures of style into the shops and get the typical short back and top. He finally gave up thinking he didn't have a head for a hairstyle...
I, apparently do not have a head for a hairstyle either, so I am gonna just accept that I am at the hands of the person with the sizzors and hope they are having a good day.


  1. I think you and I have been to some of the same hairstylists. O_o Thanks for the laugh.

  2. This had me laughing so hard! Thank you for making my evening. I keep getting my hair trimmed in the hopes that I will be inspired by some hairstyle I see in some magazine...but that hasn't happened. I need to just get the balls to throw myself into the hands of a stylist. :)

  3. LOL your a hoot! found your blog from Etsy.
    At least your still in there trying. Me, I actually gave up, thats right I haven't cut,colored,permed or spiked or koolaid-ed my hair in 2 years. I had to stop before I became bald! bad enough being over 50 but over an bald, not me.

  4. I tried giving up, people kept offering me their change...