Saturday, March 10, 2012

The good old days?

I have been thinking a lot about my childhood lately. Not sure if it was the death of Davy Jones or the fact that its March and I always get melancholy in this terrible month. But it does seem like life is so much different than when I was a kid.

At the risk of yet another 'YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN' post things are changing and not so much for the better.

When I was a kid we visited with relatives...not email, skype, facebook, or IM'd them. On Sundays Dad would pile us in the car and we would go to play softball or watch the older cousins fix their hot rods, sneak rhubarb and cherry tomatoes during the hot summer days or read 16 magazines debating Beatles vs Monkees.

And our parents knew the names of the cashiers at the grocery store, the mailman, the milk man(yes I am that old) the local police and the guy that pumped your gas.

You met your neighbors because you were hanging your laundry on a line or your pigs got loose. The paper printed who was in the hospital as well as who was cited for drunk driving...again. Party lines were standard so you had some respect for others privacy (or learned to be very, very quiet). Doctors still made house calls and the local pharmacist would open in the middle of the night to fill a prescription.

Now we buy everything on line from drugs to pet food and have no need to engage with the outside world. Libraries were places to go for information as well as local chit chat and a glimpse of an out of town we Google, Wicopedia, and Bing all our inquires.

Don't get me wrong, I love the Internet...almost to a point of obsession. I can go for days with out getting dressed if I want, and all information is at my fingertips. Some of my more 'interesting' searches would have left our town librarian scratching her head. (Victorian cross dressers? seriously??) and Face Book has connected me with people from years ago and created new friendships. So that's a good thing.

But some days I kinda long for a kitchen full of Aunts helping make my Mom's green tomato relish, or the days of cousins filling the rooms to watch tv.

But, I can message them on Face Book, and its almost the same thing.

Monday, February 27, 2012

before meets after

This is one of the pieces of jewelry that was given to me at the craft show. A very nice lady gave me two shoe boxes filled with assorted findings and parts as she didn't use them any more. She made these pins back in the 80's and we all had at least one. C'mon, fess up, we wore them with our mustard colored jackets with the shoulder pads sanctioned by the NFL and earrings so big our they needed their own zip code. We were stylin'...

So I took them and reconfigured them in a different manner, hopefully updating the look. So now instead of plastic and glue, it is a recycled, vegan friendly piece of wearable art...yeah, sure you betcha...

It got me thinking about what I do compared to what my mom did back in the 70's. She loved crafts and did made some interesting Christmas ornaments using plastic pills cups, Elmers glue and glitter. Yeah, I was horrified.

But how far off are my cobbled together things? Is someone going to look back and think it looks dated and funky. Are they going to remember it with a fondness associated with Jelly shoes and big hair? Or will they end up at the bottom of a shoe box at a future garage sale, right along with VHS tapes and MP3 players?

Are my reconfigured pieces that far from the "Glamorous Plastic" the lady gave me? No, probably not, but that's ok...

Etsy needs things for future 'Vintage' in 20 years time.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

My Say

hey everybully, lily da bulldog here to comment of a few things i need to get off my chest

sorry bout takin so long between posts but big lady never leaves the puter on anymore

anyway things round here are ok

the food could be better, i want kibbles but it makes sophies eyes turn red so i get to eat boring food

and its cold outside so i try not to go out much anymore...big lady keeps tossing me out and making me pee, but if she had to drag her boobies in da sno she would run back in too

big lady is cookin more so dats gud. she drops a lot on da floor so we lub to be right under her feet...dats when i think she gets confused cuz she calls us different names...i don member no other bully called jebuskristonacracker

and dat new tiny dog is gettin on my last nerve...all dat mewing around is confusing, especially when she gets to go out whenever she, catch one stinkin lousy skuril and the sun rises and sits on your furry behind round here

ani is gud...she is to big to jump on da bed so she sleeps on da floor...big lady must lub dat cuz every nite she gets up and yells at her to get out of the flippin flappin way...and den we hear a big crash. dat sounds like so much fun

so all in all its a nice life

we do need a bigger couch and more chew toys so I don have to eat any more hats
or slippers
or soft toys
or blankets
or pillows
or catchers mitts
or tennis balls
or volleyballs

big lady keeps talking bout baffs so i need to keep tryin to hide under the couch
she might be big but she is fast...and bullys hate baffs

anyway, i hear the water runnin so i better go squeeze under the puter desk...
hab a gud day!!!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Judge Judy drinking game

Working out of the home has its advantages...the commute is a breeze, your work area can become a pants free zone and you can sing along with your oldies station and no one thinks you are beating a cat with a bag of nails.

Oh sure, the Christmas party sucks and you will be the one to ALWAYS clean out the microwave, but for the most part, its great.

You can even spend your free time familiarizing yourself with popular culture. Facebook, no problem, Pinterest, on it, Linkedin...updating daily...and Judge Judy, a must.

So, for those of us who are spending quality time with the one woman who could scare the be-jebus out of the Taliban, I give you the Judge Judy drinking game:

This game is easily retrofitted to work with everything from Tequila shots to gummy bears...enjoy!

One shot for showing up dressed in street clothes including underware.
One shot for the following:


One shot for the following scenerios;
threatening to send a copy of the tape to the defendant's Attorney General.
making fun of the defendant's boyfriend's clothes
throwing out one or all of the defendants witnese's/moral support

One shot for the following statement:
'It wasn't a loan, it was a gift'
'I never asked her to bail me out'
'I baby sat her kids so I don't owe rent'
'she should have had insurance on the car I borrowed'
'she knew I didn't have a license when I borrowed her car'
'my dog never bit anyone before'

Two shot for Judge Judy calling people at home.

Three shots for tossing everyone out of her courtroom.

Judge Judy is on for an hour and a half where I live, so the chance of me being upright and sober to make dinner is slim at best..,

Yes, working at home has its benefits...I just hope my liver holds out till I can draw Social Security.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Goin' to the movies

The Hubs and I went out to the movies last night...first time in a long time. They have sound now! Anyway, we got there early so we could find a seats and get my chicken bucket size popcorn with salt ground finer than baby powder and something they called 'butter' dumped over the top layer, $5 diet Pepsi and 98 napkins. I'm ready!

Show starts at 7:10...dumb-ass me, I thought that meant the show 'starts' at 7:10...nope, commercials for TV shows 'start' at 7:10. Then some previews of 'new movies' (all playing now)and some previews of upcoming releases (including a remake of the 3 stooges!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! seriously, remake Flash Dance, remake Fame, hell, ever remake Gone with the Wind...but the 3 stooges!!!argh!!!!) and finally the pitch for the National Guards (which makes me cry) and then the lights go dim...almost...
house lights, not the back lights of the phones all around us so all the little tweens who's parents dropped them off as cheap babysitters can text throughout the movie.

Movie starts and so does the mass Exodus of aforementioned 'tweens' who are now running up and down the aisle to see who is with who, giggling and tripping up the ramp and squealing with delight at being 'so grown up'.

Side bar: open letter to MOM who came to the movies with her tween girl and her boyfriend, what did you expect to happen when you sat ahead of them and the lights went down? Did you ever find where they went? I would suggest you look in the back seat of the Buick.

About 10 minutes in, a 2nd wave of seat moving begins. Not sure what caused that, but think it might have something to do with the loud and animated discussion 'Megan' had with 'Jessica'. *sigh* Meanwhile, back in the cheap seats, I wondering how bad my head will explode when I see a commercial for this movie coming out on video next week.

From now on, I think I will stick with the rest of the old farts and see movies on a rainy Thursday afternoon with my smuggled in pop tarts and candy corn.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Out in the country

This is a picture of my road...on a good day, so it's safe to say I live in the boonies. You get use to the isolation, the lack of neighbors, the inability to order pizza. You don't necessarily worry about locking your doors but are well armed in case someone decides to test your resolve to put a bullet between someones eyes.

Living in the country also is a cultural adjustment. You don't worry about dressing up for anything unless its deer hunting season or garage sale time. You wash your car only to remove the salt and don't even bother with curtains.

The local restaurants are decorated with a combination of NASCAR and roosters, all the gas stations not only carry milk and bread, but the kind of diapers you request and hard liquor.

People out here still wave at each other no matter if we know them or not. We notice when something 'dosen't look right' and will hold pancake breakfasts for you when you are sick. Your neighbor may not speak to you for years, but will be the first one there to help you cut down that tree. (or at the very least, stand back and watch you work and offer unneeded advise).

I've lived here 12 years now, and have finally burnished off those 'newcomer' edges. I can walk into the local greasy spoon, who's name isn't even on the door, and order the special with a side of cracklin's with out shame or remorse, and they never ask what I'm drinkin' cuz they know.

The paper comes once a week, and its free.

You can come home to a pile of zucchini or a dozen eggs with no note and no need for thanks, out here you share your wealth in whatever form it takes.

Its a slow paced life out here in the sticks and all I can say is...


Thursday, February 9, 2012

what the heart wants

Valentines day is coming and I have no grand illusions of a big expansive present from the hubs. Nope, them days is long gone!

Oh, back in the day he was real good, even gave me my engagement ring on Valentines day. Now-a-days its more like a bag of coconut M&Ms and 8 pack of caffeine free diet coke.

And that's not to say he is the bad guy, I use to wake up extra early and write cutesy little notes on the bathroom mirror, make heart shaped meatloaves, and send surprises in his lunch.

Yeah, now its more like: 'here's the remote...your welcome'.

I think that is the natural progression of a relationship. Before marriage you are trying so hard to impress each other...dressing up, never eating more than him, trying not to fart...

After 32 years you sorta get over all the mushy stuff and appreciate each other for what counts, like eating whatever I put in front of him( a truly brave and self sacrificing act).

You go from obsessing about returned calls to watching their lips move but having no idea what they are talking about cuz you stopped listening 10 minutes earlier.

You use to spend hours putting on makeup and doing your hair to wearing their housecoats and wondering when the last time you flossed your teeth.

And you scratch wherever it itches.

After being in a relationship for a while you relax, start to wear comfortable shoes, then comfortable pants, pretty soon you don't even get out of your sweats.

So, in my humble opinion, what the heart wants is to be comfortable with your significant other. So relax and be content the knowledge that this works, and no one else would put up with your crap anyway.