Friday, April 30, 2010


Wishes...we all make them, we all hope they come true. When I was a kid I wished I could swim in a pool of chocolate pudding...never mind the logic of that particular wish, just the idea of floating around in that chocolaty goodness was enough to make me swoon.

Growing a bit older I wished I could hold out my hands and birds would land in them...I had a thing for birds back then. I would sit out on our hill and try to explain to them that I wouldn't hurt them, they could trust me. Honest.

My wished became more desperate the older I got
I wished I were smart or pretty...I wasn't picky, either would do. I had friends that were both and the world just seemed to turn a bit better for them.

Wishing became a full time activity as I matured (whatever that means). I wished for a better job, more time, less stress...and then I took charge and work for myself and have a better job with lots of time and no stress...(no money, no benefits and no communicating with other people, but hey, you can't have everything)

Now I wish for:
a full nights sleep
peace of mind
housecleaning fairies
a successful business
decent weather
good health
a zero calorie chocolate ice cream and/or chocolate chip cookies
bubble bath that works in hard water
a sale on big giant bras
and the ability to swim in a giant pool of chocolate pudding...cuz some wishes never leave you.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Hattie and Lottie

Under the picture of my cute little steampunk angel bracelet is a picture of my grandfathers Aunts...Hattie and Lottie. I really don't know much about them except that Lottie was a bit of an artist and illustrated a book about Lincoln. Keeping in mind this would have been pre 1900, it was a pretty big deal for a woman.

Apparently the women in my family were never the shy retiring type. My Grandmother and Great Aunt both went to high school and College...shocking! My mom, while not graduating, did make it to 11th grade, something unusual for rural kids to do.

I have records of my family on my Grandfathers side and have no indication that either Hattie or Lottie married...spinsters or just independent? I'm hoping they became raging suffragettes demanding the vote and going on hunger strikes. I am hoping they gave a start to the woman's movement and made it possible for me to be allowed to vote...I like that thought.

I have never felt comfortable in the traditional roll of housewife. I bristle at the thought of being referred to as:
the little woman (aint nuttin little about me)
the other half(of what?)
his better half (no matter how true that one is!!!)
spouse(and always the 2nd signature on any document)

And while I did change my name when I married (for personal reasons)I would have much rather us both choosing a new last name...Mr. and Mrs. Insertnamehere. Cool!

So maybe Hattie and Lottie are proud of being a small part of the cyber world, for having their picture on the Internet for all the world to see (even my small little part of it) If they were alive today, maybe they would be publishing their own blog, running a collective of other like minded women with a storefront in some college town, or maybe just making jewelry and selling it on the Internet. Maybe a part of them are.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010


I am thinking about icons today...not sure why, perhaps a discussion over my avatar on my Etsy site. That got me thinking about the nature of icons, what they are and what they are not. Is my avatar of Bruce an icon? do I invest it with magical powers (if it brings me sales, yeah you betcha!) light candles, wear it for good luck? What exactly am trying to say?

I love the style of the art in the icon in my necklace. It is artistically all wrong, proportions out of wack, but I like it. Would I pray to it?...nah...

Does Sophie look a the dog on the Alpo biscuit box and think...'oh, I need to bow down before the doggie of all treats'

Does the icon on our car bring it somehow in tune with Saturn? (it might, cuz no one on this planet can figure out what that sound is...)

How about the Apple logo on the that some physic up link to the computer gods (note, small G) and if you don't have one are you forever on hold to some guy in Bombay?

And lord knows my exchange students all pay homage to the Nike swish.

I need to make my own icons, ones that suit my life...maybe a stylized giant bra or a picture of a take out coffee cup. Would it make me feel better, give me something to hang on to...bring peace into my life. (if my life were anymore peaceful I would be in a coma). Maybe we all just need hope...just a bit more hope.

So my icon will be HOPE.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Down and out

The Queen is sick...not sure what is going on but crashed with 103 degree temp and a sore throat. Hanging at home in bed. But, interestingly enough, both doggies are being exceptionally good and the phone only rang once.

The picture is of a latest design, I think it is a simple clean piece with a nice pink heart...looking very closely you will see a tiny screw in the rose quartz. I wanted to name it something like 'screw my heart' something on that level...but felt it was not in the best of taste (and occasionally taste has to enter into it). So if anyone out there has a broken heart, here is the perfect necklace for you!

So, back to being sick...David came home to handle dinner...the boy has never even fried an egg, so wandering around in the kitchen for a while he came up and announced he was going to the local 'greasy spoon'. I was in a fetal position and under the covers so I just waved him away. He came home with:

3 orders of pancakes
3 orders of strawberry shortcake
3 cups of ice cream
2 chef salads
1 cup of mac and cheese
1 tuna melt
and whatever the FEZ ordered

whats for dinner???...everything
gonna need to screw my heart back together after eating that lot. Thanks David, you heart was in the right place.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

feel like a cartoon

You ever have a day that you feel like a cartoon...that nothing is real and you are just waiting for your ACME shipment to arrive. Today I feel that way. Maybe its because I am dealing with such odd things in my shop...leading me to odd people for sure, or maybe its just real life and I am only a marginal participant.

Like why is there a rose bush wearing a Hawaiian shirt at my local post office. There was a lady there ripping the shrubs up by hand (which caught my eye) but then I noticed the orange and red shirt on the bush...not laying on the bush, the bush was wearing the shirt. The lady had stylized the branches into a head and this our tax dollars at work or is this some weird art project for the boonies??? donno, but she asked me to take a picture for her...not of the shirt or the bush, but of her yanking the shrubbery out...(perhaps as an offering to the Knights who say NI!) at some point you just go with the flow.

Then, calling a small engine repair place to ask about fixing my leaf blower...
Me: is there a bench charge for bringing it in???
Person with no clue: donno, whats wrong with it...
Me: uh, its broken...
Me: wont start...
PWNC: well, you're gonna have to bring it in...
Me: but is there a bench charge, I called Sears and they have a $50...
PWNC: you say its broke?
Me: uh, yeah, it wont start
PWNC: but does it start?
Me: no, we tried to change the sparkplu...
PWNC: you're gonna have to bring it in...
Me: is there a bench charge, a charge to look...
PWNC...didja clean it??? maybe it just needs to be cleaned...

or the lady at Aco who gave me a paper and pencil to write down the prices of the items I was buying so she didn't have to call for a price check.

Or the guy at the Antique mall who asked me about 10 times if I needed help all the while keeping his back to I am basically talking to the back of his head. Took me a few times to figure out who he was talking to, but as I was the only one there I assumed it had to be me.

and my favorite gas station comedian...complete with the giant rubber cockroach on the counter...funnnnnnnny!

yup, its just that kind of day.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010


So apparently Sophie decided to try her paw at blogging...(my new curse to people will be 'may you be cursed with a clever dog')and she had some valid points. Not too sure I like the idea of my shoes smelling like doggy chew toys, but whatever. In my defense, she is really quite spoiled and very well taken care of in spite of the 'interior decorating' she chooses to do. The picture tells it all.

Most of the animals I have owned haven't quite been so smart...and some were downright dumb. So to have one that only has to be told to sit once, will go to her cage when I tell her and will hide as soon as she finishes my last plant is going to be a challenge.

Apparently I like challenges, that's why I started Queen G...not the recession or my inability to find a job...nope, I like challenges and I'm sticking with that. I would like a challenge with benefits and a 401k, but what the heck...a SEP is just a good. Couple that with a Roth IRA and a buck and I can get a coffee.

But, the Queen is turning a corner and has paid off all her start up fees including the new camera so maybe profit will be in the long as I don't count labor, or utilities or other overhead...urg...maybe...

Sophie, feel free to blog whenever it gets into your little dogie brain, leave my cushions alone, stop eating my plants and you can be the VP of Queen G. The rest of you can apply for these positions:

personal assistant and coffee getter, grade2, grade one is sleeping after working midnights
supply line coordinator...aka crap getter: position can telecommute
professional model, need neck and arms, preferably clean
mail services: position involves going to the post office and chatting with the lonely women who sit there all day hoping for something to do.

please feel free to apply, applications will be held for up to 6 months...yada yada yada.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Sophie here...

wile that big lady with the thumbs is away, i am going to straighten a few things out...this may take some time as i don't have thumbs and this...wat does she call it...piece of shit, mother scratching, jacked up, fisher price, heap of scrap running something called a virus chek...tho why she would want a virus is beyond me.

first, i am just a puppie, so i can not help it if she makes up rules that i don't understand...who knew the things she puts on her paws were not chew toys, they smelled like chew toys, they were made from the same thing...sheesh...y'd think they were important or somptin.

i am only tiny and can not hold it all day...she goes in the house, all the other dogs go in the why cant i an annie are being discriminated against cuz we got fur or somptin...

if you dont want me to play with stuff, don put it on the floor...i love them big fluffy things the big dogs hav in their beds...them feathers are the best...i need one of them in my bed, but all i got is my binkie...and speakin of my binkie, why does she always wash it when i just get it good and comfie...then i got to start all over...

and if she don want me to eat the green things in the windo, she should leave them outside...

the fud is good, i like the crunchy stuff but once in a while somptin different would be nice, like wat they smells good but i cant see it from the bout some of that once in a while.

i like being here in the woods, the goose poop is great and i love running into the trees so no one can find much fun watchin them get all excited over me. one time i was hiding and they were all yellin and using some light and all over to the next dogs fun i got a chain thing and alpha dog keeps talking about getting me fixed...i agree, we need to fix this right away, i cant run anywhere with this chain.

so anyway please come and visit some time...i am here all day in my box...being bored and wishing i had thumbs, then we would see who gets fixed

Monday, April 19, 2010

clockworks and comments

My latest 'creation' as listed in my shop. Made from 100% recycled 'stuff'. Kinda cool if I say so myself, and I do.

I know my style of (well, everything for that matter)things is not for everybody. I am attracted to the weird, the broken and the funky...anyone who knows me knows that. Probably stems from being last to be picked on any team (typical 'fat kid') or from being the only kid in 5th grade wearing 'muc-lucks', their mom's fake fur coat and lavender polyester pants with the sewn in seams (cuz my mom loved those!). I was the wierd kid, for sure. Today I would be sporting the black eyeliner and chipped off black nail polish, back ass 'pick way' 2 for $5 shoes and a bad attitude.

7th grade and the introduction of glasses and acne...could it get any worse...yup...
home grown 'shag' hairdo's and and even pissier attitude. Now I have included a purse made from a pair of jeans (who's I have no idea, the local 'store'...a blog for much later...didn't Carry my size, I was still in the polyester) and moccasins...fringe and all.

I don't think I ever got it graduation picture was a mom had it on our tv for the longest till a guy I liked came over and said...'well, I know Cindy (cute sister) but who's that guy?' *sigh* oh well.

So bring me the weird stuff, the broken, the cracked and hopelessly unloved, it will find a home here.

Friday, April 16, 2010

its the simple things...

Like the soft scent of wood smoke in the air...(cuz the nasty neighbors meth lab as finally blown up)

the sound of children laughing...(at your happy ass as you try to pop and lock your way into being cool)

the smell of home cooking ...(even if it is top ramin for the 6th day straight)

rain on the roof...(slowly seeping into the cracks and crevices, growing black mold and making your life a living hell)

enjoying the fruits of your labors...(aka, looking for work on a daily basis)

and the knowledge that life is good...(and it beats the alternative)

Happy Friday everyone! Enjoy the simple things!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

202 items with no end in sight

Today I posted my 202nd item in my shop. I never knew how many I would make or how they would be received and am still knee deep in stuff for more items. Apparently this is what I am suppose to be doing...and I am having a good time, meeting lots of folks via the Internet and learning a lot...

selling, not so much.

I am blaming the recession, the weather, the taxes, the global warming, the democrats...whoever...

And this is no way a plea to buy my priceless (worthless) crap. I think it is just an indication of what is going on in retail. People are buying less, learning to do without, making do...and that is a good thing!

I want people to buy my stuff because they want it. No other reason...look, with what I am charging, it certainly ain't to get rich! I just love making the stuff and get a huge kick out of sharing it. It makes me happy, keeps me busy and looks good on resumes...

So, a long as you all can stomach it, I am gonna keep on making things...maybe one day something will pop up that y'all will love, maybe not, but at least I tried!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

make it do, wear it out, use it up or go without

My latest creation from Queen G Designs and it pretty much sums up my feelings about my shop. Use everything handy, don't waste nothing and try to make everything make sense. Not sure I always hit all those marks but I try.

Apparently I have been 'green' my whole life, who knew??? I thought it was just my farmer upbringing. My family were all farmers, and I was born on a tiny farm back oh...about 100 years ago. We planted our 40 acres, had a huge garden and kept pigs and chickens for a while. We were taught early not to waste anything. The only reason for pets were for chasing the pigs back into the pens and for eating the leftovers. Those childhood lessons grow some deep roots.

Even today I find myself thinking about all the wasted food at those buffet many hungry animals at the humane society would enjoy that steak that is heading for the trash...(we will leave the people for another rant...don't get me started on that!)

I reuse what I can and try never to waste anything. My paper thin toothpaste tubes are a testimony to that. So maybe that is why I get my underoos in a bunch when I hear about the global warming and my so called carbon footprint...I can't be any more green if I tried! Short of becoming Amish, I think I am doing my part. So you can keep your guilt trips for another person...I won't buy your recycled shopping bags that were bought from some 3rd world country and shipped over here on some container vessel by the millions...I won't be interested in paying triple for the organic tomatoes at Wal-mart and I wont be turning my lights off for an hour to prove a point...I put my time in at the knee of a Michigan Farmer, thank you very much. My debt is paid.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Yesterday I went to the local hospital and had my yearly, every year...yeah. Anyhoo, I decided there was no point in dreading the pain, frustration or humiliation because its gonna happen, so lets get Zen with it and let it happen.

Because I live in the boonies there are only certain times I can have one of these tests. Country hospitals are great for service, not so good at keeping up with technology...anything short of tin cans and some string is a major advancement. Honest...I needed a MRI and the hospital scheduled it for 10pm...when I asked why so late they said...'cuz thats when the truck gets here'. Yup, the MRI is on the back of a truck.

So, after waiting with some very interesting people...('yeah, I got a letter from the state telling me I had to pick up my garbage, but I told them to &^%* off cuz I want to be on "Horders"...)my time came.

I love the woman who does these tests...all of 4 ft 9, on a good day and loves to talk...and talk, and talk...all while you have your boob in a vice and are trying not to move. So here I am chatting about the weather, school kids, the state of the union...whatever, all while my ta-tas are mashed to about 1/4 of an inch and are the size of a turkey platter. After the stars stopped spinning around my head I was allowed to leave. See ya next year!

So, while I may not love the process it has to be done and ya might as well deal...if ya got em, take care of em...

Monday, April 12, 2010

The Queen of Hearts

I love hearts, and if you look at my jewelry you can find a heart on most things. I will stick one on anything just because I can. If I come to your house I will draw a heart in the condensation on the windows. I make my meatloaves in a heart shape and have a heart tattoo (with a band aid). Hearts make me happy.

I try to take care of my heart too. I eat kinda right, sorta, kinda do exercises (if walking the mall counts) and avoid crappy chemicals when possible...(fake sugar to a minimum) and am now completely caffeine free. I am naturally hyper, so deal with it. Apparently I am gonna live to 100 (if I can get this cholesterol thing under control)

My biggest challenge...accepting the fact that I am my parents age. What the hell happened? I use to be like, oh...23, now I am 52! sheesh... and things just are happening that never happened before. I never had to stop after an 8 hour car ride, I never had to plan trips around bathroom stops, and I for sure never had to buy my bras from some catalog company in Boise. When did I get so old?

I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror the other day and thought I was some old brokdown lady complete with polyester pants and matching floral print top...that crap has got to stop, so while I can I am going to get a tune up...dye my hair many shades of red and get rid of any floral prints I come across. I may even spend more than $10 on my hair and am gonna bleach my teeth. I'm fightin' this!

So, take care of your hearts, fight back and assume your place next to me...while I am still the Queen, there is plenty of room for princes and princesses.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

The Queen is back

Just got back from a fun filled vacation and while I missed being here I certainly did learn a few things in the process.
1. The older I get the less tolerant I am of:
a) screaming kids
b) unkempt salad bars
c) grits
d) morning tv
e) USA today
2. White, pasty faces, hairy, giggly legged northerners have no business on boogie boards after the age of 30
3. Spf 30 should be issued at all state lines past Ohio
4. Nobody wants to see your Lilly white,cottage cheese bee-hind rockin that thong in spite of what the girl told you at 'Forever 21'.
5. There is nothing sadder than a 50 year old trying to keep up with a group of 17 year olds. This applies in fashion, flirting and food bars.
6. If you rocked it in the 70's, leave it alone now...this includes:
a) mini skirts
b) fake tans
c) white eyeliner
e) volleyball
I know I am being a bit pessimistic and could be accused of being ageist, but really, I saw far too many saggy butts in daisy dukes, faded tattoos, saggy-baggy boobs and sunburned backsides to fill a NASCAR rally. (and those were just in my bathroom mirror)

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Happy Easter

Hope everyone is having a wonderful time with family, friends or at peace with themselves. Enjoy the springtime and enjoy the showers! Listen to the returing birds or the soft scent of the blooming lialacs.

Myself, I'm enjoying the subtle, delicate sounds of my exchange student trying to wax her legs for the first time...its the simple things in life that brings me joy!


Friday, April 2, 2010

finding your key

Long ago in a far away place (Dundee, Mi.) I decided I needed to be an artist. School wasn't that encouraging...didn't even qualify for scholarship because I was not actively enrolled in an art class (student taught both elementary and high school). So I decided to go to college to pursue my dream...where I was told in no uncertain terms to go get a job at McDonald's. Ironically I tried to work there during the 70's and was told I wasn't McDonald's 'type'...(whatever the hell that means, now I think I would qualify just for having a pulse). I never gave up and finally landed the job of my dreams as a designer of gift ware. Woo~hoo..enter stage left: Recession.

There were quite a few detours along the way, and I enjoyed every one of them. But my ultimate goal was to be creative in some manner.

Hopefully I am being creative in a different way. And I hope I can make a go of this new detour called "Queen G." I still do a design here and there and may eventually incorporate some original art in my site but for now I will stick to making jewelry.

The point is, I never lost hope was hard!!! The 'teacher' was not very good and as far as I could tell was only there to make sure the doors were locked at night. And yet I kept my head down and kept trying. I still am trying!
I have to keep on trying...(mostly cuz I am crappy at math and can't make change...)

What I am trying to say is we all have our 'keys', things that make us happy and complete. It could be family, friends, church, work, whatever..find your key and hold on tight! Maybe no one else would want your rusty old-don't fit anything-broken down key, but that doesn't matter, its yours! Don't loose it!

Thursday, April 1, 2010


Today is Sophie's birthday, she is one and in dog years that is
I know its suppose to be like...7, but at 7 can't you feed yourself, be left alone in a room for 5 minutes and play alone? Do 7 year olds normally gnaw on your best shoe (leaving the crappy pay-less ones alone) or poop on the floor when no one is looking...(and if they do that is an entirely different type of problem). I'm sticking with being one.

Sophie's birthday has got me to think about the other pets I have had in my life. Each one different and unique.

Toby, my cat from childhood...lived to be 22. More of a friend than a pet. Defended me against the neighbors dogs on many occasions and hated our mailman. Use to wake me up every morning for school by jiggling the door knob of my bedroom. cat who I assumed was the neighbors and they assumed was ours...thus: 'neighbor cat'

Tyler, our black cat who would sit in a chair like a human and enjoy the company, much to their amazement.

Sadie and Bruce...the amazing bulldogs! Sadie could care less about anybody or anything until my friend Tiffany came over. Sadie, a raging lesbian, loved Tiffany. And Bruce, all heart and very little brain...fell down the stairs almost every day because he couldn't figure out how the turn in the stair worked.

Annie...defender of the household, guardian of all who live here and shedding-ist dog on the planet. Plays 'deaf' every time she thinks she can get away with it and loves loves loves goose poop.

There are so many other tiny beings that have crossed my path, hamsters, birds, ferrets, turtles...Gods creatures, one and all. I am blessed to have them in my life in spite of the fact that I generally cuss them up and down most of the day...

So I will end this with a 'Happy Birthday, Sophie!" and have to go find Hoover, our yellow cat, who has slunk away making that horking round of 'find the cat barf' is starting...