confused...very confused...

Urg! I just got a call from the Dr.s office and apparently my cholesterol is up by 50 points...50 POINTS! I eat salads all freakin day! I eat no red meat, no fat and no overly processed food!!!!!! (And believe me it sucks a big one!) I drink decaf coffee, don't smoke, drink maybe 3 drinks a year and wear my seat belt for fraggle rocks sake. I avoid salt and haven't had a Big Mac since the Clinton administration. I buy .5% milk, medium eggs and eat fiber every day. What the ^&*& more can I do???

I WANT A DO OVER.! And right now I am assuming the hospital has gotten my blood work wrong...its a conspiracy I tells ya!

AND:
no one ever told me one morning I would wake up and my lips would be gone. One day they have color, the next...I look like a flesh colored smiley face.

AND:
my hair would slowly turn to steel wool with a mind of its own. You can hot oil treatment all you want it still looks like 'the Ghoul'...(local Detroit 70's reference, kiddies)

AND:
since when did my boobs start to hang like Spanish moss??? (1978 probably)

Growing old is not pleasant...those AARP flyer's that come daily in the mail showing the smiling white people on some sail boat looking all healthy and fit are a myth made up to convince the population to buy a time share.

I am just freaking mad and think I will go get a Big Mac...urg!!!!!!!!!!!!