Friday, July 29, 2011

goin' to hell

Yup, according to one of my neighbors I am going to hell for using things like this Madonna picture or any old religious medals, rosaries, icons...anything that has been 'blessed'.

'I got it at the goodwill, how do I know its been blessed?'
'You have to assume its been blessed.'
'I do???'
'Yes, this is serious, you can't use them!'
'I can...'
'no, its wrong'
'it isn't...'

*hours later*

'look, it was at the goodwill in a baggie of broken jewelry...if its blessed, its still blessed and on to a new life as something else...'
'no that wrong, you are using blessing's to make money!'
(well, not the way I do it)

At some point you have to agree to disagree, and while I offered to sell her all the religious items at a cut rate deal so she could keep them in a sanctified manner and away from the heathen paws of us pagans, she refused and stormed off.

So, if I am offending anyone by using these medals, religious icons and images for my found object jewelry, I'm sorry...I never mean to offend (profit, yes, offend, no). And if I am going to hell over this I got a lot of questions when I get there.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Not paying attention...

I was typing away on a new blog post, something random like going to the goodwill and finding this giant bag of beads and making this necklace and trying to squeeze something philosophical about making something out of nothing, giving the broken unregarded and ugly a new start, renewing the spirit, you know typical Queen G. crap...

About halfway through I look up and see the entire page is writing in Arabic.

I thought I was having a stroke.

I honestly thought there was something seriously wrong with me, and was desperately trying to think of the 'are you having a stroke' questions:

what day is it...urg..
who is the president...Oh hell no!
what state do you live in...denial???

The possibility that the drop down menu was enabled to Arabic never crossed my mind.
Yeah, I would rather think I was having a stroke than assume I am a computer dork.

That pretty much sums up my life...and most people think I am self centered, conceited, or just self absorbed. The plain unvarnished facts are that I just don't pay attention.

Show up with a cast and sling..I might think something is 'different', change your hair color, try a new haircut, get a Samoan face tattoo...nope, it wont register with me.

Till like 3 days later.

Then I never know if I should call and say, oh hey, that tattoo...yeah, I didn't notice it at first, but its nice...does it come in any other colors???

So I don't mention it.

So for all the times people have made major changes in their appearance, the face book status, addresses, religious affiliations, whatever...
feel free to point it out to me cuz I aint paying attenti...


Monday, July 25, 2011


This is a new listing in my new Zibbet shop and I love the background picture. It is from a fairy tale called The Russian Princess and was done in 1913. It was an illustration for a kids book by Charles Robinson and to my eyes is beautiful.

Looking at it helps in these hot days of summer, knowing winter is on the way...with its cold and ice. I am trying so hard not to complain about the heat.

I am trying real, real hard not to whine about:

the heat rash under my boobs
the fact that I don't have 'summer clothes'
remembering to turn the thermostat up when I want to turn it down
having to cook, do laundry or houseclean in this heat
having 'vegan leather' (vinyl) furniture
making sure my dogs are hydrated and cool
watering the plants out on the porch...ooops, tossing the plants away on the porch

yeah, its been a real interesting summer with heat in the hundreds for days on end.

then I remember my friends kids who are in Afghanistan.
and I shut myself up.

So, stay safe, all you military people, stay cool all my friends and remember winter is coming.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

show me the way to go home...

I'm tired and I wanna go to bed....

nope, not drunk...but I am starting to wonder where I actually live...
I thought it was Michigan
turns out it's east of 'too freakin' hot to go outside'.

which is also:

'booger freeze' place.
'no work for you' center
'take it up the tail pipe in gas priceville'.

I have many fond nicknames for this place, none of which are suitable for this blog...suffice to say I use to love it here. Back when there were jobs, and stores, and people, back when you could drive down the road without the pot holes rattling your innerds into your outterds. Back when people waved as you drove by, and with all the fingers, not just one.


And good luck all you Michiganders-Michiganians-Michiganites...whatever...your kids are going to be left with empty factories littering the countryside, scores of empty houses with overgrown lawns, and empty storefronts that use to sell the things we drive to walmart for.

Sad...its going to take more than Tim Allen's voice over to save us here.

Pure Michigan

Monday, July 18, 2011

Hey Everybully!

Lily here wit a kwik reminder that it is hot outside and us bullies don't go gud in the heat. We lost a fellow bully yesterday cuz somone didn't know dat and it was so
no rides in da car
so long walks
and no being chained to the house outside...if anybully sees dis call the authorities and save a life!

people pleze make sure we got lots of watter, ice is nice too...and know de signs of heat stroke.

don't kno em??? here is a link...

lets be careful out der.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Cause and effect

You know the bit about a butterfly's wings flapping causing changes in weather...or however that's suppose to one tiny insignificant incident can have great consequences.

That is the essence of real life.

How going to a garage sale 4 years ago crated the need to make jewelry out of found objects. Or sending a note to a boy I liked 33 years ago created a life consisting of dogs, cats, and a log home in the boondocks.

And you never know when that butterfly's wing is gonna flap...if I had taken that scholarship to Northern Michigan...or that promotion to Parma, Ohio...(!?!) If I had not moved to the great black swamp, had a few kids or even took that offer to live in China. How would things be different?

Would I still be the same snarky person with nothing to do all day but glue stuff on to other stuff...

Would my kids even be speaking to me...

Would I even still be married...

If I had become a nurse like my mother wanted...would I be happy, healthy, still employed? If I had followed my dream and became an art therapist, would it have been a better life?

Did I really want to marry Barnabas Collins...(that would never had worked out...on soooooooo many levels)

What if I had participated more in school...been on some sports teams, had different friends, took math instead of independent reading (twice!) learned a language, a musical instrument, stood up to bullies...

What if I were cool...

It boggles the mind...what if.

But things are pretty fine here, sure I wish I had more carbon based life forms to interact with, but the Internet is still here and everyone is a key stroke away. Yeah, I wish my body would quit deciding to fall apart at inopportune moments...(symptom dujour...cramps in the thumbs) but it is what it is. Would I change anything???



Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Blaming my bumps

I have decided all my problems stem from not having my lumps in the right place.

My decisiveness or lack there of is because of that little lump behind my ear, or on top of my head, or whatever...and therefore I am not to blame.

Bashing my head does not rectify the situation. I have cracked my head on my way down the stairs a few times and my perception of reality does not change.

So any of my social ills, my proclivity to use words like proclivity, and my stingy attitude about spending cash is all associated with my lumpy-bumpy dome. Or maybe my smooth cranium...whatever...

its not my fault and you can't blame me.
or my parents.
or my childhood, education, mental state, or economic situation...

nope, its my bumps.

Keep all your psycho-babble, your new age homeopathic cure all's, your medicine, your therapy and your spiritual healing...its all for nothing if your lumps don't line up...

And if your lumps don't line up, sorry about your luck...that future of wealth and prosperity is all for naught...the lumps don't lie.

So, while it sucks having lumps that indicate I am a bitter, whiny old bat with delusions of can't hold me at fault.

It ain't my fault!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Starring in my own show

A one woman show that consists of monologues about life by a grouchy old lady who glues crap together for a living.

A show bringing the exciting world of the housewife into clear focus.

Here is just a list of some of the scintillating topics we will be covering:

Laundry day fridge clean out recipes...including the famous toasted hot dog buns with mozzarella and tony packo pickles.

Letting the cat out, and in, and out, and in...

The concept of handmade gifts and how they relate to your dog.

Facebook games vs crack...who's the real looser.

When its necessary to wear a bra.

Walmart protocol and the use of proper hand signals.

Grocery shopping 101: do you know what you want to eat next week...well, neither do I.

Judge shows...excellent use of time or just ogling Judge Alex.

How to tell if you are dinking around or doing some internal soul searching.

Hobbies...more reasons to save butter dishes, go to craft stores and alienate your family.

Group discussions of how to properly fill out forms...spouse vs home maker vs stay at home mom.

These and many more topics will be covered in the coming soon as I finish laundry, get the chicken defrosted, vacuum, dust and glue this crap to this other crap.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Dear Dogs and Cats...

Found while cleaning drawers...

Dear Dogs and Cats,
When I say move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.

The dishes with the cute paw prints contain your food, any others are mine. You can not stake your claim on my food by placing a paw print on my plate.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR. Beating me to the bottom is not the object and tripping me won't help as I can fall faster than you can run.

I can not buy anything bigger than a king sized bed...sorry. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretching out to the fullest extent. Stretching out legs, tails and tongues to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom. If, by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to whine, meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. I have been using the bathroom for years and your attendance is not mandatory.

Thanks in advance for your complete avoidance of these issues...

The person who feeds you.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Brain sucking for fun and profit

I love this new pin made from a very broken, very antique, very cool old pair of clip on sunglasses. I have to say right now I am conflicted about posting it as I saw the idea from another Etsy seller and totally feel like a big giant brain sucker. I even posted a picture and a link to the other sellers site to get opinions about the dreaded 'copying my stuff' nightmare currently drifting around Etsy's forums. Everyone agreed there was no problem and that we all get ideas from one another.


But hey, if anyone looks at my site and gets some great ideas to regenerate grandma's crappy old jewelry, I say go for it! And if you can make a profit, give me a call cuz that's it all falls apart for me.

And I guess it is true, we all get ideas from one another. There really isn't anything new out there. I remember making jewelry from eyeglass lenses back in the groovy 70's, just the glass with usually floral fabric decoupaged on...I run across one every now and then...apparently it was big in the senior centers, and they were signed with gold paint pens on the back. (and they got a bunch of old eyeglasses laying around for sure!)

So feel free to suck what little is left of my brain, use anything you find on my site to get creative, feel free to steal my designs because we all have a creative soul, it just needs a jump start every once in a while.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

feeling sorry for myself

For the last few days I have been wallowing in the pity pool, wondering why me...
and the answer comes back...why not you?

I don't know why people have issues with life and finances, and family, and medical issues, and governments and situations that you basically have no control over. I do know we are all entitled to whine and bitch and moan for a bit and then get back to the job at hand.

So, sorry for being a major pain in the posterior, for dropping out and wandering around bumping into walls. For thinking the entire world should revolve around me and the rest of you all can suck it...

We can all find others in worse situations right now...any one want to be a jurors on the Casey Anthony trial? Be married to Congressmen Weiner? Work for the Detroit school system?

Yeah, its time buy the big-girl pull ups and get over myself.

Friday, July 1, 2011

before and after

So this is a beat up candle holder I found at the Goodwill. Amber glass beads on a metal base. Yeah, it was pretty jacked up and on its last legs.

I made it into this necklace, adding a rather large Agate pendant I also found among my scrounging.

Making stuff from stuff...
2nd chance
going green
too cheap to buy real supplies
whatever, this is how I do it

I also wish I could just go to Hobby Lobby and buy strings of beads and pendants. My life would be mush less messy right now. I got boxes piled up in corners waiting for the exact project to come to mind.

I got butter dishes, take out containers, cigar boxes and Tupperware filled with vintage and antique beads. Vintage chains hand from every possible location, and tiny little jars filled to the rim with buttons fill my closet.

Sometimes I have to wait years for the right project to come along. This makes going to garage sales, flea markets, and resale shops a time consuming pastime...yeah, I do want that antique, jacked up deck of playing cards...why...I have no idea...yet.

That baggie of antique glass bottle stoppers...mine.
grocery bag filled with sheet music...mine too
It all has some charm, and someday another chance to be 'something'.