Friday, January 7, 2011
There isn't a word strong enough to define how illiterate I am in terms of anything technical...comp-u-tard??? cy-ber-dork??? tech-no-ditz??? nothing exactly can describe how ignorant I am in terms of anything with initials in the name.
Case in point: the MP3 player I am trying to get to work with my ancient and much abused computer. Apparently, in spite of the fact I just took it out of the box, it needs an upgrade to the 'firmware'...wha??? ok. so I upgrade whatever the frick that is...and then spend an hour or two synchronizing my system to Windows (which has no connection with anything remotely window like) only to find out my windows system needs to be upgraded to the next level...meanwhile audio.com want me to uninstall the programs and reinstall them (hoping I don't loose content) and then I get to the place to upgrade the audio.com site I get a screen that says "we've hit a bump". What bump, I didn't feel any bump...headdesk maybe but no bump. Creative support is saying I need to upgrade my entire system, as the MP3 player is not a current model...(just out of the box!) Meanwhile, I got a 3 inch USB plug that will only fit in this system (so what does the U stand for???) so I can't even see what is happening to the player...
Yes, it is true I still have a rotary phone...cuz it still works, never ever runs out of batteries, can be found and used when the lights are out and I have never, ever butt dialed anyone from it.
I come from a world that understood when you spend thousands of dollars on an item it should be functioning and supported for more than 3 minutes after you finish paying for it...the concept that any computer system over a few years old is obsolete makes those little bluebirds spin around my head.
And its only going to get worse...My coffee pot needs to be programed...(yeah right)my cell phone has a few bells and whistles that I have never heard, I guess it has a camera but I don't know how to work it, much less retrieve the pictures...I am completely in the dark.
I do get a kick of seeing the neighbor kids come over to 'look at my phone'...its right up there with them coming over to go through my closets for Halloween. But at some point I will no longer be able to play the VHS tapes (who am I kidding, I got 8 tracks in the basement)
I paid a lot of cash to get ramped up for the new millennium...yeah, I am now only 11years behind, but for me that cutting edge! And as soon as I can dig this new MP3 player out of the wall, I will see if the upgrade worked. Crap, I miss the days when technology consisted of taping nickles to the arm of the record player.