exactly

yup...some days you get up and grab your big girl panties and deal with it...whatever 'it' is...and some days you grab your panties and the elastic snaps and pops you right in the eye.

And some days you get up and all your big girl panties are in the laundry and your house is never visited by the laundry fairies...so you grab your emergency, 'hope no one sees these' panties and find out not only did you toss them last time you wore them but you have no back ups...

Those are the days you stay in bed...it aint gonna get better, you need a do-over, just go back, pull the covers over your head and try it again tomorrow.

Don't worry about real life, I'll write you a note...cuz you know the days that start out in the dumpster got no where to go, and I for one do not want to be:
in front of you on the freeway
in front of you at Starbucks
behind you at Wal-mart
anywhere near you at the post office...

nope.

Just remember your bad day is not my problem, my bad day is probably not yours...lets not share.

Keys to the past

Today I am going to try to write about something that happened to me this summer. It really creeped me out and kept me from sleeping for a day or two.

I love estate sales. That being said, a lot of people are kinda weirded out about going through someones house and digging through their stuff. I get it, but generally I walk away with something they have 'loved' for years and now I am going to find a new use for it or 'love' it right back. So when I saw a giant sign out side of the creepiest antique shop in the world, I was in heaven.

When I say creepy, I mean funky, dirty, unorganized and a bit dangerous. The more I think I may fall through a floor the happier I am. This place was all that and then some.

The Lady that ran the shop was (is...she is still there!) about 90 with jet black hair and drawn in eyebrows...and always wears a giant flower in her hair. She is cool! (a bit crazy, but I like em' that way!) When her shop was open she always played 40's music and hobbled around reminding you that the prices were all negotiable. I would stay for hours!

Last summer she decided to 'pack it in' and give up the shop and opened the remaining buildings for her Estate Sale. oooOOOOHHHHHH buddy, let me at it!

Holy crap! What I found...I wandered from room to room in this old 3 story building that use to be 'downtown' but the town has long since been gone. Every room was filthy, covered in dust, crud and about 100 years of grime. After my initial walk through I then got down to the business of searching for goodies. It didn't take long before I realized this woman actually still lived there. I had to let the shock of that sink in, cuz this place was like a time capsule from the turn of the century.

Walking into the kitchen I was amazed at the condition...all the old appliances were still there and the walls were painted a sickly pink. The floors were covered in layers and layers of linoleum. The ceilings were all 12 feet tall with the hanging lamps. And the windows were still sporting the ancient velvet curtains. Matching velvet curtains were in all the doors. Charming, no...filthy, yes. Each room was exactly the way it would have been in 1915. No effort had been made to upgrade, remodel or even repair. All the rooms were very small and it appeared that when the flooring started to get worn, another layer was put down. The parlor still boasted an ancient piano under mounds and mounds of other assorted crap. Every room was filled with years and years of collected stuff that are now so badly decayed that no one could use them.

Room after room I wandered looking at her stuff. I wanted to stay around for hours, but the inside atmosphere was so unbearably creepy I had to leave. I did manage to find some goodies, and David helped her pull the sign in as we left. I sat in the car for some time reviewing what I had seen. This was an actual building that was caught in time, like a bug in amber. Old wood stoves and coal stoves in every room, and wallpaper so faded and warn you could not recognize the design. This woman actually lived there...and with out a doubt, so did her parents and grandparents. the only nod to this century was a wall phone from about 1960.

I kinda forgot about it, till this weekend when I drove through the little town and saw that sign, she still is working that estate sale! So if anyone wants to view a living museum, with a real life curator, put on your grubbiest clothes and come and get me!

The tie that binds

In the background is a wooden sign that shows a Nurse, a Marine and a Sailor, all WWI vintage (not sure why the Marine is in red??) and the words above it say "blessed be the ties that bind". I found it in the crawl space of our old house (dubbed the chock-full-o-nuts hotel for various reasons) and love it! Besides the fact that it is funky and was suppose to be a tie rack...get it...ties that bind...no...oh well, but that the words are true.

What ties us to who we are? Why did I rush back home after the tornado? Why do I wonder and worry about people I haven't seen in 30+ years? What makes us cling to the things we are familiar with (clogs, boot cut jeans, disco) and get ruffled with something new (rap, cyber space in general and photoshop). Are they ties or are they anchors???

Here are my ties that bind:
Coffee
Doing things MY way
Jeans that fit at the waste, call em' what you like, no muffin top here!
The Beatles
white bread (the squisher the better)
Cheap makeup
2nd handing...my entire house is from garage sales, thrift shops and 2nd hand places
cheap hair dye...I think there is some chemical that seeps into the brain
Chloe perfume
black purses
long nails, out of style..meh
scarves


Here are some things I wish were on that list:
exercises...*shudder*
house cleaning...*gavomit*
returning calls...I am terrible at that
birthdays
cooking

The ties that I seem to be hard wired into my system are deep and unmovable. Try as hard as I might you will never see my happy azz running a marathon...you may see me running amok, running scared, running off at the mouth or running off half cocked (??) but a 10K...nope

If you want to see me, c'mon! if you want to see the house, make an appointment...cleaning aint my thing.

Thank God for facebook, I can now wish people happy birthday with out fear of getting it wrong.

Don't get me started on cooking.

Ties that bind...think of them as a gentle embrace of our past. And who dosen't love a gentle embrace?

Classic!

Went 'shopping' today, and out here in the boonies that can only mean the farm and fleet store or Aco. Bought my stuff and was wandering around looking at other useful things when I heard Janis Joplin over the intercom.

Take another litte piece of my heart...

So I am wandering around enjoying the music and I spy a little grannie type lady...you know, the sensible shoes, pastel polyester pants, matching sweatshirt with embrordery...and she was just standing transfixed in the isle with her eyes closed and a sly little smile on her face.

Pretty much said it all...and something tells me granny wasn't always in the kitchen making

amazing!

QueenGinya by foxotherun featuring high waist pants

BOYFRIEND SHRT
$89 - stevenalan.com
Cotton tops »

Ann Demeulemeester Leather waistcoat with straps
655 GBP - brownsfashion.com
Leather waistcoat »

Linen-piquet pants
$522 - net-a-porter.com
High waist pants »

Christian Louboutin Pigalle patent-leather flats
$575 - net-a-porter.com
Patent leather shoes »

Elie Tahari - Leanne Tote (Putty) - Bags and Luggage
$582 - zappos.com
Couture tote »

Lola Rose Black Agate Semi Precious Stone Faceted Disc Earrings With...
$81 - asos.com
Chain earrings »

Perforated Fedora Black - One Size
$45 - yesstyle.com
Fedora hat »

Oversized Vintage Unworn Balenciaga Paris Caramel Sunglasses
95 GBP - love-worn.com
Balenciaga sunglasses »

CASH JRSY CULEBRA
$145 - stevenalan.com
Print scarves »

Multi Strand and Stud Belt
$40 - topshop.com
Topshop belt »

A few months ago on Etsy, Foxontherun asked everyone to describe their 'look' and she would put together an outfit that matches. I wrote something like Annie Hall meets Drew Barrymore with Rosanne Barr boobs. Personally I think she nailed it!

It is some program called Polyvore and kinda cool...

I am amazed that people can see past our precieved imperfections and personal biases and push us into something we would never buy for ourselves. Wearing it, thats a different story. So, I challenge everyone today to yank out that thing that someone talked you into buying...(you know you got a few!) and try it out...you never know!

Except for mumu's, caftains, tube tops, and anything with sparkles. Just say no!

Vacation

Just got back last night after a fun filled week in beautiful San Diego!

And as usual, the weather was cold, rainy and for the most part, very Michigan like. I would like to point out that the day we left, the weather cleared and they are now experiencing unseasonable temperatures.

I am just not a very good vacation person. My plans are to do no shopping, maybe catch a show, eat some exotic food, see some sights and generally not think about anything. Hubs wants to sleep, visit historical sites and gain knowledge to use on 'Jeopardy' or 'Cash Cab'. He is patient as a saint, I am not...soooooo not.

So imagine my surprise to find we were staying at a perfectly nice hotel but everything was 'a short bus ride away'...I don't really do buses, much. I like to know where I am going, when I am going, and I want to go directly there...I don't much like the idea of traveling to one point to catch a bus to another bus to a trolley and then a short walk to the taxi stand. The hotel had a shuttle, but it took you to the airport or the mall. And for whatever sick and twisted reason, the hubs was insisting on taking the bus everywhere. Did I mention we didn't have a schedule...

At one point the shuttle driver dumped us out in the middle of nowhere with no one but homeless tinfoil hat wearing guys for company. And what did my stalwart husband do??? He yanks out a compass and stands in the middle of the street trying to find N. Two middle aged pasty faced white people with bad polyester Hawaiian shirts standing in the middle of the street looking for N. We might as well carried a sign that said 'steal our travelers checks'. I finally just started looking for the nearest coffee shop for some comfort and cover while Gunga-Dave looked for magnetic north.

Finally a mail carrier pointed us in the right direction and we walked to the Hard Rock. After leaving there we wandered all over that end of town looking for something interesting...never found it.

Next day we went to the Midway. Awesome place. We then tried to find a bus stop to take us home...walking forever, dodging more homeless people and pigeons, we gave up and tried to hail a cab. Apparently the cab hailing gene has not been passed down to my husband and while we continued wandering in the general direction of the hotel we never managed to catch a cab. My feet and patience gave up and I insisted he call the hotel for a shuttle...'sorry, he went home for the day'. So we walked to the next bus stop we could find, got on and drove 2 stops to our hotel...my 70spf was long gone, we hadn't eaten all day and I headed straight to the bar. 2 Mai tais later I was waisted and headed back to the room.

Still insisting we would take buses everywhere, we spent the next day at Oceans Beach. More homeless, lots of pigeons and antique malls...We ate at Hodaddys, and I managed to wolf down the humongous burger with no problem whatsoever. While we were waiting for a bus (again!) a taxi came up and said...'man, I will take you anywhere you need for $5 each' (I jumped in!) when I asked why he stopped he said...'you looked exhausted, like the typical touristas'...yup, he had me pegged.

David wanted to go to Old Town, so, bus schedules in hand we head out. Mexican food or bust! He had been told of a place to eat, so we wandered all over looking for the place (passing about 17 gillion other perfectly nice, not crowded cafes) We found the place...with a 45 minute wait. So we waited only to be sat at the wonkiest table in the place, so wobbly that my drink (an excellent sangria) had tipped over! The food was good and David over did it. We spent the next few hours walking for 20 minutes, finding the restroom for 20 minutes, walking...'resting'...all the way home.

I was kinda over this trip but David had scheduled a tour on the "Stars and Stripes" racing boat...meh, apparently this is a big deal. Me, I stayed at the hotel, sat by the pool, wrote, read, drank and finally enjoyed a bit of my perfect vacation.

I think this 'vacation thing' we keep insisting on putting ourselves through is gonna be the death of me yet.

those stupid surveys that I always fill out!

These are the answers to one of those internet surveys I always fill out. It pretty much sums up the Queen in all her glory.

1. What color is your toothbrush?
I have no idea...can't even guess

2. Name one person who made you smile today:
David, I know-lame but he is the only one around here

3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
convincing myself that I need to get up after having a dream it was 10:00am

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?
talking with David about nothing

5. What is your favorite candy bar?
the one in my hand, in my cupboard, or in the car...melted, stuffed behind a couch cushion...dosen't matter

6. Have you ever been to a strip club?
no, damnit, and I feel my life is a little empty

7. What is the last thing you said aloud?
do you want some tea with lemon??? (sick husband brings out the small amount of maternal instinct I have)

8. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Chocolate, with chocolate...Baskin Robbins use to have Bittersweet Chocolate...excuse me while I drift off a while..

9. What was the last thing you had to drink?
cold coffee, I'm too lazy to stick it in the microwave and too cheap to throw it out.

10. Do you like your wallet?
my wallet? wtf?

11. What was the last thing you ate?
broiled scallops

12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
I haven't bought "new" clothing in years

13. The last sporting event you watched?
sporting event...sporting event...dog agility...

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?
same answer as the candy bar.

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message too?
text messages are from the Devil...especially at 10cents a message...aka, don't text me!

16. Ever go camping?
now why would anyone want to do what they do outside that they can do inside????

17. Do you take vitamins daily?
yes, senior silver! now where is my AARP card, damnit!

18. Do you go to church every Sunday?
use to, till we moved to the great black swamp

19. Do you have a tan?
do I have a tan what?

20.Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?
that depends, Chineese Chineese food or American Chineese food.

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw?'
now these questions are just stupid...to start with, I am from Michigan, we don't drink SODA, we drink POP...so the question should be do I drink pop with a straw, and I have to say...no, don't drink pop at all...whew!

22. What did your last text message say?
some wierd ass warning about going to Wal Mart and a gang initiation...whatever

23. What are you doing tomorrow?
getting the bug guy to help me through the great carpenter ant invasion I am having

25. Look to your left. what do you see?
my desk filled with jewelry pieces and parts

26. What color is your watch?
gold

27. What do you think of when you hear Australia?
Colin Hay songs...

29. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
I go in, so they make my coffee a decaf and not just tell me its a decaf...

30. What is your favorite number?
back in the day we all had favorite numbers, mine was 75! then I grew up and no body cared...

31. Who's the last person you talked to on the phone?
bug guy

32. Any plans today?
lunch with Kris, clean the house, bath...bed. whoopie!

33. How many states have you lived in?
3 if you count the few minutes I lived in North Canton and Brimingham ALA

34. Biggest annoyance right now?
Obama...pleeezzzeee don't get me started...

35. Last song listened to?
Jerry jeff Walker "una ma Cervesa" or Hoyt Axton "Boney Fingers" can't rmember

36,Can you say the alphabet backwards?
if given a long time to think about it and good enough reason, or a tazer in my face.

37. Do you have a maid service clean your house?
yeah, you bethca her name is Ginya, Queen of China and she is a Beee-itch

38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
I have these ding-dong orthotics that only fit in grandma shoes, but I did have leg braces and then it was frankinstein city...so um...what was the question???

39. Are you jealous of anyone?
people who never have to think about what they do to their health

40. Is anyone jealous of you?
lets see, 51, unemployed, thighs that still move 10 minutes after I get into bed, yeah but lets not all be haters...

41. Do you love anyone?
Yes, my boy Daid, the only man on the planet that will put up with my shit

42. Do any of your friends have children?
yes and some of them even like them!

43. What do you usually do during the day?
look for work, sweep up dog food, dink around, sweep up more dog food,

44. Do you hate anyone that you know right now?
after a certain time in your life you give up hate and settle into apathy

45. Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
you mean like 'hello' ie stupid or hello, as a greeting? cuz the first one is lame

46. What color is your car?
Saturn is silver with mud colored spots, Miata is Black with mud covered everything

47. Do you like cats?
depends on how they are surved

48. Are you thinking about someone right now?
no, I'm filling out this ding-dong questionare

49. Have you ever been to Six Flags?
nope,

50. How did you get your worst scar?
biopsy on my boob, after everyone thought it was a gunshot wound(which was a rumor I started) I had a tatoo covering it.
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