the Queen does not cook

I know a lot of people out there love to cook. They love the whole creating a meal and serving a happy family gig that somehow escapes me. My sister in law would try a new recipe every week....for me, its cleaning out the fridge left over casserole and weenie-water stew. Cooking is not my thing...

I can cook, and I'm a pretty damn good one if I say so myself...if pushed I can cook a beautiful duck with either orange or cherry sauce, your choice. But do I wanna...nope.

And I can get all old school and make some bean soup with a smoked ham hock, red beans and rice or lentil stew...call ahead first.

My mom use to cook up a storm. We always had both a pork roast and a beef roast every Sunday...and never ever had fake potatoes, hamburger helper or mac and cheese...she made her own pickles, relish and summer sausage...her Christmas cookies (lebkuchen) were made in September and stored till December...hard as nails but perfect with coffee. She loved cooking...me, not so much.

When asked where my favorite place to eat I will always say the same thing...Denny's. But not any Denny's, oh no, the one on Waikiki beach with no windows and the sea gulls flying in to snatch your french fries...dang, I would get an extra order just to be there now.

I hate the entire process, all the way from going to 3 different stores to find all the ingredients for some recipe, to washing, chopping, cleaning, steaming and whatever else I have to do to get the stuff ready and then the presentation! ta-da...to which my family will generally sit down, salt it heavily, pour ketchup all over, and call it good...(could have been a kitchen sponge for all they notice) and the only rule I have is: if I cook it you will eat it and call it good no matter what. If asked you may reply with either 'it was great, lets have that again' or 'it was great, but don't rush out and buy more'.

I am so grateful for people in my life that love to cook. I understand the need to nurture, to put on the big apron and create wonderful things made with love and just the right amount of seasoning. I get it, but for me I wanna go to Denny's.

doing what I do...

Brand new today! More junk into 'Junque' and while this may not be everyone's cup of tea, I kinda like it. But lets face it, I have no taste.

Ask anyone who knows me...my idea of style is matching a pair of jeans and a old band uniform blazer. I am known to be seen in an antique smoking jacket complete with black satin sash, and my favorite jean jacket is 30+ years old.

I try to avoid clothes that hurt or leave red marks, so I pray nightly for the person who invented stretch denim. My style is early American comfee with a dash of thrift store style.

This carries into my home as well. I don't have a lot of storage space so I use antique picnic baskets on top of my cabinets. Wooden milk crates are in almost every corner filled with LPS, plants and other assorted necessaries. And My furniture came from an estate sale and still had the tag from 1910.

Style has nothing to do with how I work or dress. If I see something that needs to be in my home I don't really care if it is broken, dirty or mismatched...I can fix it! I love old clocks and many can be seen in the background of my Etsy photos...none work. You want to know what time it is you need to check the microwave. Old barometers, got em' everywhere...I don't even know what a barometer is exactly but they are cool. And don't be surprised to find an old saddle hanging from a beam in my living room...or a pair of snowshoes, or a antique sword, or Indian head dress...it all works.

Anyone can buy style, I just do what I do and it makes me happy.

positively being positive

A long time ago I went to Paris. It was (in spite of everything I did) awesome.
I went with a friend and did every typical American thing a typical American would do...ate too much, drank too much and enjoyed myself thoroughly. I need to remember those times as I am dealing with the day to day frustrations of being alive in Michigan.

Trying to keep myself positive as my state slowly sinks into the abyss of the recession is challenge in itself. 23% unemployment rate..really...can you double check that.

Of course, being out of work myself doesn't help. I want to be a contributing member of society, to pay my taxes and to matter again. SO why am I dinking around all day gluing things together...cuz I live in Michigan and its all I got.

So, today I am going to think of Paris in the spring...
of chocolate slowly dripping down a scoop of hard vanilla ice cream...
of the sound of Ernie Harwell on a hot July day
the smell of suntan lotion
warm sheets straight from the dryer
jiffy pop
the entire album of 'Goodbye Yellow Brick Road'
puppies
and the first time I heard Bessie Smith

ahh, that's so much better...

confused...very confused...

Urg! I just got a call from the Dr.s office and apparently my cholesterol is up by 50 points...50 POINTS! I eat salads all freakin day! I eat no red meat, no fat and no overly processed food!!!!!! (And believe me it sucks a big one!) I drink decaf coffee, don't smoke, drink maybe 3 drinks a year and wear my seat belt for fraggle rocks sake. I avoid salt and haven't had a Big Mac since the Clinton administration. I buy .5% milk, medium eggs and eat fiber every day. What the ^&*& more can I do???

I WANT A DO OVER.! And right now I am assuming the hospital has gotten my blood work wrong...its a conspiracy I tells ya!

AND:
no one ever told me one morning I would wake up and my lips would be gone. One day they have color, the next...I look like a flesh colored smiley face.

AND:
my hair would slowly turn to steel wool with a mind of its own. You can hot oil treatment all you want it still looks like 'the Ghoul'...(local Detroit 70's reference, kiddies)

AND:
since when did my boobs start to hang like Spanish moss??? (1978 probably)

Growing old is not pleasant...those AARP flyer's that come daily in the mail showing the smiling white people on some sail boat looking all healthy and fit are a myth made up to convince the population to buy a time share.

I am just freaking mad and think I will go get a Big Mac...urg!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who the Queen is...

This is one of my earlier necklaces, and I like it, I like the fact that it has a small butterfly and is made of junk and the picture turned out nice (someone actually told me I could sell the picture instead of the necklace...hmmm) it represents who I am as a designer.

Other things represent who I am as well:

My cheap ass hairdo tells you I am not a slave to fashion or convention. While I would love to be sporting a fantastic new do with highlights, lowlights and all the other lights in between, I just can't justify spending that kind of cash to impress the dogs.

The dog hair dust bunnies slowly turning into tumble weeds tell you I am not a housekeeper. I'm dealing with it just fine, thanks you very much.

My office, filled to the brim with old broken junk, pieces of jewelry and assorted bits and bobs tells you while I'm not making any money I still have hopes of becoming the junk-maker to the stars!

The fact that I am still married to my first date tells you that I am either incredibly lucky (I am) incredibly tolerant (eh...) or hubby isn't very picky.
(hes not)

The fact that I still find time to blog tells you I am unemployed, unaffiliated and unmotivated to do anything else.

And the fact that you find time to read this tells me you are either incredibly bored, incredibly loyal or feel the need to read. For whatever reason you are reading, I thank you from the bottom of my crafty little heart.

Advise from the Queen. Vol 1

Today's musings will be from the book of life, Chapter 1 Verse 1...

1.There are certain things you should not buy from 2nd hand stores or deep discount places...those include:
a) condoms
b) hair dye
c) any form of medicine that has to be inserted into any orifice
d) anything with Elvis as an icon
2. Waiting till the last minute to make the Dr.s appointment will not force you into loosing the last 10(or 50) pounds you promised to loose...go to the Dentist instead, they don't weigh you there.
3. Wanting aint getting, especially in the form of good weather, cheap airfare and cute shoes that fit
4. The bigger the bra, the more industrial it looks
5. The more complicated the phone, the higher chance you have of dropping it in the toilet.
6. The hair style you see in the mirror at home has nothing to do with what is actually on your head
7. Leave anything with the word 'skinny' in the title to the 20 somethings (unless it is directly followed by the word bitch)
8. Being frugal is different from being cheap. Frugal=looking for a sale. Cheap= dumpster diving behind the Sunoco
9. Never pass up the opportunity to take a wizz. Trust me on this one!
10. The chance of getting the ....(insert need here, ie: job, call back, right size panti hose) is about the same as being hit by a meteor...go ahead and try, just wear a helmet.

That is your words of wis-dumb for today, all rise and sing the Queen Ginya song...
"You can't always get what your waaaaaant..."

the wisdom of crowds

Today I went to an auction, and not just any auction, but an equipment auction for David's work. Had my eye on some padded envelops...cases and cases of them. Marked #629, auction started with #1...long day ahead.

The crowd was a mixture of "John Burch society" wannabe's, skater boyz and old dudes with nothing else to do. The only other women there were either totally confused about gender or somebodies mom trying to score her boy a cheap laptop. One guy wore complete camo and an elf hat...not sure what category he fit into. Carharts and Michigan jackets were the order of the day.

The auction started with a room full (and I mean FULL) of laptops and they were selling them at a starting bid of $100. Now if everyone would have shut the &*%$ up they could have had them for that, but nooooooo, somebody started bidding against each other and the next thing I know its gotten up to $250. After the first guy 'won' the bid the auctioneer offered the rest at that price...no body said a word, so back to the starting bid again. Figuring they would have learned a lesson from the first go round I thought they would stand mute...nope, bidding stopped at $240...hello??? starting at $100, STFU!!! People!!!

They had some tables I wanted, and waited till afternoon for the bidding. David ran to the bathroom and stopped to talk to the cashier...keeping the bid card with him. All 9 went for $2 and me with no bid card. thanks David!

This went on all day, people bidding against each other for junk. We were there till 2:30, and finally the bidding started for the envelopes. The auctioneer decided he was wasting too much time so lumped them all together in one bid...there were over 100 cases. I had my price for a case, and maybe a skid if I had to... but 100 cases, oh well...let the bidding begin!...lost by $5. There is a day I wont get back. We left with nothing.

I have always been a firm believer in the wisdom of crowds. Making my way in an unfamiliar airport I always followed large groups who seemed to know where they were going. After today's experience I think I need to re-think my beliefs.